You are becoming such a big boy. As mommy thinks about your growth, I feel sad that you will be four years old and in preschool in the summer. But it’s not a sadness that will stay. I cry just a little bit because I am so happy that you are healthy and imaginative and inquisitive. I know, those are long words, aren’t they? Mommy loves that you can sing…that your lungs are strong. Mommy loves that you can dance…that your legs are strong. I love that you like to paint and make a fort out of pillows and read many great books. There are babies in the world, like Jai, and big kids like you who cannot sing or dance or play. You are a lucky little boy.
Do you know what else makes you lucky? Having daddy. I know that, at times, daddy is your favorite. You can sit on his back and roll around on the floor with him. You and daddy go through your flash cards and sing songs from the phone. Daddy is amazing, isn’t he? I’m proud that you get to go through life with his work ethic and business determination as a model, as well as his unconditional love. Daddy loves you more than his brain can think and his heart can beat. You are his first-born and his only son. You are the one daddy and mommy didn’t know we’d have. That level will never be claimed by anyone else.
I know that you are learning to love mommy as much as I love you. I upset you sometimes and you get angry. That’s okay…we cannot always be at our best. We are learning about one another. But know that, even if you are angry or sad because of something mommy has done or said, I adore you as much as I always have. Mommy’s love won’t ever go away. You are so much like mommy, aren’t you? We have fun together, don’t we, when we color and walk and sing? Even if I cannot paint with you or walk with you around the neighborhood, I carry around my love for you, my precious little boy.
As we all prepare for your next transition, I don’t want you to be afraid. It is mommy and daddy’s burden to fear for you in this world, not yours…we want you to move ahead with your head held high. Show those teeth and that enormous charm. Some tasks will not come easily. You may have to work to make them happen. Some tasks will come naturally. Those will make you excited. Mommy and daddy are here through the easy and the tough. You can always ask for a hug. You can always ask for our help.
Mommy says, “Play good” when you are with Jai. And to “be gentle.” “Be careful” is something else I say a lot. Play good with others. Be gentle in your words. Be careful and show diligence. Not everyone will like you, baby. Some will not like you because you hurt their feelings. Some will not like you because you are brown with curly hair. You may intimidate some…you are a smart boy, and some people don’t believe that brown boys should be so smart.
But, in everything you do and all you meet, mommy and daddy love you to the moon and back around the solar system. We are here for you in tears and in triumph. It will always be okay. Life will be a tough bag of lemons. We can give you sugar for your batches of lemonade, but you have to do all the stirring.
See you today after school.