I just figured it out. I ascertained my place between the pursuits of my attention by the 4-year-old and the 16-month-old. I have discovered why their perceived jealousy for my complete care and focus is so essential to their centers. Daily, I face the wrath of one or the other if…
The disenchantment one can experience when creating a complicated password, particularly when it must be changed frequently, is equivalent to the injury a parent’s feelings can occupy when dropping off their first-born child in a Pre-K classroom. Emotion is a colossal pain in the butt.…
I woke up thinking about whether I would implant microchips into my children after reading an article the night before regarding a group of employees in Wisconsin who have agreed to do so. Not because the kids have been naughty or missing or restless, but solely because they will be teenagers in…
There was a movie released about two years before I was born called “The Toy.” It starred actor Jackie Gleason as millionaire U.S. Bates and the late Richard Pryor as janitor/underemployed reporter Jack Brown; the premise was that a rich father gifted his bratty 9-year-old, Eric,…
I live by the creed that life can be either a comedy or a tragedy. Of course, realistically, it’s more a tragicomedy action adventure docudrama, but varies from one end to the next in any given scene. I’ll just stick to laughing for now…
The light atop the cell phone illuminates, indicating recording has begun. Jai blinks at the sudden brightness, perplexity routing her gaze for seconds, then a big, 9-toothed grin spreads and lifts her cheeks. She makes sounds stressing consonants and hops up and down on her…
It has been 342 days today since our family canonized “Jrue’s Potty Party,” the celebratory Memorial Day Weekend Saturday that marked the official beginning of “potty-trained big boys” in our home. We flounced about, declaring the day special with dramatic flourish. The night before, I…
My mom and dad were in town last week for baby girl’s first birthday, which we celebrated with an elegant birthday brunch at home. Being older, Jrue has solid ideas regarding the personalities and nuances of Grandma and PopPop, and Jai’s memory is just…
I have followed many sitcoms and many movies of all genres over the years. I can memorize essential dialogues and related subplots and apparent resolutions during second viewings, which has also inspired my skill at recognizing production techniques and identifying tropes and the like. My…
My formative years lasted throughout the ’90s…a time period of trolls and Lisa Frank, dial up and scrunchies, slap bracelets and Gameboys, Dunkaroos and “Where’s Waldo?” I recall these reminders fondly, just as much as I have mentally souvenir’d my great-grandmother’s plastic-covered couch. It…
